Evolution of a paragraph

Glyphius Paragraph Editing

These are two examples of how statistical analysis can turn mediocre paragraphs into winners. The same refining is completed for headlines.

The changed word is struck out. An inserted word is denoted by <<insertedword>>. The score for each paragraph is at the end of each entry.

Example 1:

Changing 4 words changed the score from a 180 to a 500 – a relative 278% increase in effectiveness.

Regardless of the industry you specialize in, you’ll find something for your tastes. There are professional services, credit cards, business software, nonprofit fundraising, nutritional supplements, health clinics and even a parrot training video. There are subscriptions to members only sites, newsletters, newspapers, and magazines of all shapes and sizes. – Score: 180

Regardless of the industry you specialize in, you’ll find something for your tastes. There are professional services, credit cards, business software, nonprofit fundraising, nutritional supplements, health clinics and even a parrot training <<movie>>. There are subscriptions to members only sites, newsletters, newspapers, and magazines of all shapes and sizes. – Score: 282

Regardless of the industry you specialize in, you’ll find something for your tastes. There are professional services, credit cards, business software, nonprofit fundraising, nutritional supplements, health clinics and even parrot training <<instruction>>. There are subscriptions to members only sites, newsletters, newspapers, and magazines of all shapes and sizes. – Score: 338

Regardless of the industry you specialize in, you’ll find something for your tastes. There are professional services, credit cards, business software, nonprofit fundraising, nutritional supplements, health clinics and parrot training instruction. There are subscriptions to members only sites, newsletters, newspapers, and magazines of all shapes and sizes. – Score: 356

Regardless of the industry you specialize in, you’ll find something for your tastes. There are professional services, credit cards, <<enterprise>> software, nonprofit fundraising, nutritional supplements, health clinics and parrot training instruction. There are subscriptions to members only sites, newsletters, newspapers, and magazines of all shapes and sizes. – Score: 414

Regardless of the <<market>> you specialize in, you’ll find something for your tastes. There are professional services, credit cards, enterprise software, nonprofit fundraising, nutritional supplements, health clinics and parrot training instruction. There are subscriptions to members only sites, newsletters, newspapers, and magazines of all shapes and sizes. – Score: 500

Example 2:

A negative score to 500 is an infinite improvement. Deleting all of the original paragraph would have resulted in a measurable increase in conversion.

“75 All-Star Secrets for Writing Winning Copy.” AWAI believes you can never have enough tips from the pros. Not that you have to use them all in every letter…but if just one inspires you to write a great letter, it’s worth reading. That’s why this report is such a great resource. t recaps the 75 most-important things you need to know as a copywriter — quickly and concisely – complete with real-life examples that drive the message home in an instant. – Score: -10

“75 All-Star Secrets for Writing Winning Copy.” AWAI believes you can <<always>> have <<more>> tips from the pros. Not that you have to use them all in every letter…but if just one inspires you to write a great letter, it’s worth reading. That’s why this report is such a great resource. It recaps the 75 most-important things you need to know as a copywriter — quickly and concisely – complete with real-life examples that drive the message home in an instant. – Score: 65

“75 All-Star Secrets for Writing Winning Copy.” AWAI believes you can always have more tips from the pros. Not that you have to use them all in every letter…but if just one inspires you to write a great letter, it’s worth reading. That’s why this report is such a great resource. It recaps the 75 most-important things you need to <<be aware of>> as a copywriter — quickly and concisely – complete <<including>> real-life examples that drive the message home in an instant. – Score: 212

“75 All-Star Secrets for Writing Winning Copy.” AWAI believes you can always <<profit from>> more tips from the pros. Not that you have to use them all in every letter…but if just one inspires you to write a great letter, it’s worth reading. That’s why this report is such a great resource. It recaps the 75 most-important things you need to be aware of as a copywriter — quickly and concisely – complete including real-life examples that drive the message home in an instant. – Score: 221

“75 All-Star Secrets for Writing Winning Copy.” AWAI believes you can always profit from more tips from the pros. Not that you have to use them all in every letter…but if just one inspires you to write a great letter, it’s worth reading. That’s why this report is such a great resource. It recaps the 75 most-important things you need to be aware of as a <<marketer>> — quickly and concisely – complete including real-life examples that drive the message home in an instant. – Score: 240

“75 All-Star Secrets for Writing Winning Copy.” AWAI believes you can always profit from more tips from the pros. Not that you have to use them all in every letter…but if just one inspires you to write a <<winning>> letter, it’s worth reading. That’s why this report is such <<an effective>> resource. It recaps the 75 most-important things you need to be aware of as a marketer — quickly and concisely – complete including
real-life examples that drive the message home in an instant. – Score: 282

“75 All-Star Secrets for Writing Winning Copy.” AWAI believes you can always profit from more tips from the pros. Not that you have to use them all in every letter…but if just one inspires you to write a <<control>>, it’s worth reading. That’s why this report is such an effective resource. It recaps the 75 most-important things you need to be aware of as a marketer — quickly and concisely – complete including real-life examples that drive the message home in an instant. – Score: 284

“75 All-Star Secrets for Writing Winning Copy.” AWAI believes you can always profit from more tips from the pros. <<There’s a limit to how much you can pack into a>> letter… but if one inspires you to write a control, it’s worth reading. That’s why this report is such an effective resource. It recaps the 75 most-important things you need to be aware of as a marketer — quickly and concisely – complete including real-life examples that drive the message home in an instant. – Score: 481

“75 All-Star Secrets for Writing Winning Copy.” AWAI believes you can always profit from more tips from the pros. There’s only so much you can pack into a letter… <<though>> if one <<tactic>> inspires you to write a control, it’s worth reading. That’s why this report is such an effective resource. It recaps the 75 most-important things you need to be aware of as a marketer — quickly and concisely – complete including real-life examples that drive the message home in an instant. – Score: 501

 

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